Friday, December 4, 2009

Slobbered-covered carrot.

So apparently LF actually cares about my sanity and wants to save my computer's soul... After the disaster that was trying to clear my phantom backups, she sent me lovely little nugget of knowledge:

"Found the way to delete manually (Examples 3 & 4). You have to do everything from a command prompt though. You can either attempt it yourself, or see if ITS will do it for you. http://www.symantec.com/connect/articles/9-thinkvantage-rescue-and-recovery-40-integration"


Take a minute, look at this link, and digest its instructions...
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At first, I thought, "This is doable, I'm pretty good with computers, I can put these commands in to prompts and solve my problem."
A few minutes later: "What the [CENSORED] is a  Task Server Deploy Software task? Oh well, I'll just skip to the part about deleting backups."
"Why can't I run rrcmd.exe? Why won't it boot up? What is Altiris task? Why can't I find it on my computer?"
"[CENSORED] it. [CENSORED] this computer. I'm going to ITS."
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L, you're a doll*, but I'm batting .000 on your fixes... It's not you, I promise, it's me. I'm like a man without hands, and your instructions are Braille. It's like trying to feed vegetables to a dog - even if you load them up with peanut butter, the dog still won't actually eat them. They'll just lick all the Skippy off and leave you with a greasy, slobber-covered baby carrot that you have to pick up and throw away^. 


Currently my computer is that slobbered covered carrot... 


*Calling somebody a doll reminds me of my grandfather - he has all these great outdated ways to address women that are somewhat demeaning, but so endearing that they (almost) never piss women off. We'll go out for dinner,  and he'll say to the waitress, "Hey Darling, could you get me another Dewer's?" And when it comes, "Thanks sweetie, you're a peach." Something tells me that if he called Rosie O'Donnell a 'peach', she'd probably have a coronary as she went to stab him in the testicle. Then again, she did play for the Rockford Peaches in A League of Their Own, so maybe the jury's out on this one. 
^I have, in fact, tried to get my dog to eat vegetables. I don't know why, but I like trying to trick her into eating things that I know she won't like. I think it's payback for always trying to snatch food off the coffee table in the living room. I'm deranged, I know.

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